Trent Walker

Don’t Judge Yourself Today, Judge Your Lifetime Legacy

Take a step back. Why are you beating yourself up about something you did or didn’t do yesterday or today. It’s just a drop in the story of your life, take a breath, you have a full life to accomplish your dreams. Too often we let our daily failures, frustrations and fears become our focus. The three F’s happen daily, they are there to learn from, but if you judge yourself, it just leads to the three D’s: Disappointment, Despair, and Discouragement.

Judging yourself for today is like judging a book on a single sentence. It doesn’t make sense. 

Learn to take the long view in life. This is why we focus on the 4 cores in rNetwork. Get small wins every day in your Well-Being, Earning, and Improving and then your Life story will be the life of your dreams!

Here are 5 critical lessons for when you feel like you’ve failed in life.

1. There Is Merit in Trying

In a survey by Linkagoal, fear of failure plagued 31% of 1,083 adult respondents—a larger percentage than those who feared spiders (30%), being home alone (9%), or even the paranormal (15%).[1]

If you have found yourself feeling like a failure, then it means you summoned the courage to do something hard. Remember that same courage hasn’t disappeared just because it didn’t work out the way you’d hoped. Celebrate your willingness to try and note that this is the same spirit that will fuel you as you move forward and try again or try something new.

2. Failure Humbles Us if We Don’t Give It Too Much Power

If we give our failures too much credit, we memorialize them as predictors of future inevitable failures. It’s as if by failing at something in life, you can never succeed in that area again. We catastrophize our failure, widen its scope, and turn a single moment in time into a self-fulfilling prophecy we are destined to replay.

But we don’t have to. When we acknowledge our failure for exactly what it is—no more, no less—we allow it to humble us. We see it as data and acknowledge that it has little to do with whether or not we will fail or succeed in the future.

3. The Process of Elimination Applies

Think about the last time you tackled a multiple choice question on an exam. You had to use logic to rule the choices down to the most likely possibilities, and in the absence of certainty, you probably took an educated guess. Life offers us similar opportunities all the time, and we can see failure as helping us to whittle down closer and closer to the “right answer.” All the ways that something shouldn’t go get us closer to knowing the way how it should. Failure in life serves us in this way. When we can process our failures productively, extract the information they provide, and proceed with insight, we get closer to the outcomes we hope to find.

4. You Find Out What You Are Made Of

Failure isn’t for the faint of heart. When you fail, I mean really fail in life, it hurts—a lot. It is no easy feat to overcome the hardship that comes with failing in life big time. Still, there is something we prove to ourselves when we choose to get back out there and give it another go.

When we learn to rebound, we learn just what we are capable of. When we muscle through failure in the direction of trying again, we can master the art of failing forward.

5. It’s All in the Framing

You have to decide how you want to think and talk about your failures moving forward. What you choose to mention says a lot about what the failure meant for you. If you are dwelling on and talking about all of the painful residuals of the failure, you perpetuate life’s greatest problems. Like Yoda said, “fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to suffering.” In contrast, when you focus on the learning from your failure, you perpetuate the growth the world aches to see.

Final Thoughts

Life is really just one great big chance to get really good at failing. There are so many opportunities to mess it up when you feel like you failed in life.

See each day as a new shot at courage—a new day to practice learning from mistakes and applying that learning to the next big risk. It is okay to fail in a day because that does not mean that you fail for life. 


  1. Research Reveals Fear of Failure Has Us All Shaking in Our Boots This Halloween, retrieved from: https://www.globenewswire.com/news-release/2015/10/14/1060928/0/en/Research-Reveals-Fear-of-Failure-Has-Us-All-Shaking-in-Our-Boots-This-Halloween.html


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